


Where Noman

by Pamela Rose (pamela_rose)



Series: due Trek [2]
Category: due South
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25709587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pamela_rose/pseuds/Pamela%20Rose
Summary: The big news? Diefenbaker loves Chewbacca.
Relationships: Benton Fraser/Ray Vecchio
Series: due Trek [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1864651
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Where Noman

Fraser had picked up the black humor idea pretty good. Ray recalled the dark chuckles Fraser emitted when he realized his legs no longer worked. Ray hadn’t found it funny. His first thought was that the plane crash had shifted the bullet in Benny’s spine—the bullet _he_ had put there. Thank god it had turned out to be only a pinched nerve.

In any case, it certainly hadn’t been the trip either of them had anticipated. Well, there had been plenty of bonding, but amid lugging a 180 pound man up one hill and down another dale, freezing his balls off, being eating by ravenous mosquitos, and eating slugs—not to mention attempting to evade an escaped murderer—any closure of personal matters between them had been put on hold.

All in all, not a bad vacation. Except that Dief had taken the last of the peanuts.

Still, the frustration level at their seeming inability to work through their weird emotional damage was beginning to take a toll on both of them. They sniped at each other more than ever—truthfully, he sniped and Benny lectured. Neither method of coping was very beneficial.

Ray had even considered risking it all just to get the answer he needed. Okay, maybe an insurance scam wasn’t the best choice, but he had been getting desperate. And he was pretty sure he would never have followed through with it anyhow. But in the back of his mind, he reasoned that if he did something illegal enough he would know, once and for all, if Benton Fraser, CMP extraordinaire, would jettison every moral principal he had lived by entire his life—and let him go like he had Victoria.

True, this was the most hairbrained scheme he had ever had (Pops would be so proud), but it had seemed like a good idea at the time. At least it was doing _something_ rather than being stuck in this purgatory.

And now there was that little issue of Fraser saying that he, Raymond Vecchio, CPD stand-up guy, had ‘ _let him down_.’ That certainly could _not_ stand. It royally pissed the hell out of him. How many fuckin’ bullets to you have to take for a guy before he realizes you’re in love with him?

At that very instant, enlightenment struck him like a both of lightning. It burst his brain with such illumination he literally gasped.

* * *

Fraser was surprised to catch a particular blur of garish technicolour jungle-print shirt in the corner of his eye. Not only did he have approximately two hours and thirteen minutes left before his duty shift ended, but he had been under the impression Ray was peeved at him after the unfortunately incident with the bank vault. Nevertheless, he felt the sunburst of warmth in his chest at Ray’s proximity. To be completely accurate, it wasn’t all instinct or peripheral vision, or even the eidetic memory of Ray Vecchio’s extensive wardrobe that granted him instant recognize of the other man’s presence. Ray had liberally applied his favorite designer cologne. Fraser blinked. Very liberally.

_Ray must be nervous about something._

“Benny.”

_Yes, Ray?_

“I know this is unfair, but I— Well, I needed to talk to you.”

Fraser waited, but Ray didn’t speak. He also stayed out of Fraser’s line of sight, close at his side, but slightly back. It was very curious. Ray usually wanted to be seen, needed to be noticed (well, obviously—no one wore shirts that...uh...distinctive unless they wanted to be noticed).

Ray sighed heavily.

Fraser waited. Not that he had a choice.

Another sigh, a quick shuffling of feet, then Ray began to speak. “Okay, it’s like this. I needed to talk to you when you couldn’t talk back; couldn’t interrupt with a tsunami of facts, corrections or Inuit fairy tales or the zillion other stuff you do when you want to skate over the real issue. You skate too good, Benny. I can’t keep up with you.”

_????_

“I just need to tell you this, and I just need you to listen and really hear it and have time to think about it—really think about it—before you respond.” Ray paused, then chuckled. “Now I know why you like talking to Dief so much. He listens but he doesn’t talk back. No wonder he’s your best friend.”

_You’re my best friend, Ray. Dief is my best wolf. And he talks back incessantly._

“It’s like this ... shit, it’s still hard to get started. We should have tackled this a long time ago. I thought we could talk in Canada, but you know how that turned out. Anyhow, we gotta talk now after what happened yesterday at the bank and what you said about me letting you down.”

_Ray, I didn’t mean it in a bad way._

“I know you didn’t mean it the way it sounded, but it hurt. All I could think was, this guy’s got some nerve telling me I let him down after what he— Well, you let me down in a big way with the Victoria thing.”

_I know that, Ray. That’s how you let me down. You would never tell me how you truly felt._

“Anyhow, the more I thought about it, the madder I got. I mean, you never even said you were sorry. I would’ve lost my house, Benny. My family’s home. And you never once even said you were sorry.”

_What could the words mean, Ray? It could hardly change what I had done—or almost did. There were no excuses. If you were ever to forgive me and trust me again, it had to be on your own time, not through some lame apology I could offer._

“I know you felt apologizing was pointless. I knew how awful you felt. Just as awful as I felt about shooting you. We were both scared to death about what we nearly did to the other one. It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized that I was ready to hear it. That I wanted to hear you say you were sorry. That I was really pissed that you hadn’t said it.”

 _Oh, Ray, I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry._ ”

“But then I thought about it some more, and it wasn’t important at all. Because I knew you were sorry. And then I remembered _Amok Time_.”

_Come again?_

“I figured out this thing with Victoria was some kind of Mountie Pon Farr thing, ya know?”

_?????!!_

“Oh, sorry. No TV in Toodleulink. Anyhow, Spock was this Vulcan right? No emotion, no sense of humor. But he got all hot and bothered every seven years. Like tuna—no, salmon, I mean.”

_That makes no sense, Ray._

“I know that doesn’t make a lot of sense. I guess you had to see the show. Anyhow, he kind of lost his marbles for a little while over this mating thing. But it wasn’t his fault. And he was really, really happy that Kirk was still alive and wasn’t mad at him for trying to kill him.”

_This means absolutely nothing to me, Ray._

“I know it’s just a TV show, but _Star Trek_ meant a lot to me when I was a kid.”

_Oh, Star Trek. Oh yes, Captain Kirk and Spock. I come from Canada, not Siberia, Ray. True, I’ve never actually seen an episode of the program, but the cultural significance is far reaching—_

“But Kirk knew all along that Spock wanted to do the right thing and that _he_ was really more important to him than this T’Pring babe, smokin’ hot as she was. And trust me, Benny, this was one sharp Vulcan chick. I was only nine and my tongue was hangin’ out, you know?”

_So this an analogy, Ray?_

“This is like one of your Inuit stories, I guess. There is a point to it, but I guess I’m even worse at analogies than you are.”

_We can only hope so._

“The point is, we’ve never _really_ talked about the Victoria thing ...”

 _Oh, it is an analogy. Victoria being the ‘hot Vulcan babe.’_ Fraser fought the urge to sigh. Victoria had undoubtedly been all that and more.

“... and Kirk kinda loved Spock. He’d do anything for him. Even though they came from totally different worlds, it didn’t matter because they were brothers ... closer than brothers.”

Fraser’s mouth was dry, and his eyes were stinging again, but not from Ray’s cologne this time. Suddenly he understood exactly what Ray was trying to tell him.

“Spock couldn’t say he was sorry because it wouldn’t be, like, logical. But Kirk knew he was, and he didn’t really want Spock to say it, get me? I think Spock always kinda felt bad because he couldn’t say it, and he kept throwing himself in front of Kirk after that, taking poison darts and shit to protect him. Maybe to make up for not saying he was sorry, but maybe just because he ... loved Kirk, too. Anyhow, I don’t want you throwing yourself in front of any poison darts for me, Benny.”

_I would throw myself in front of a freight train for you, Ray._

“I hope you’re getting this because the comparison is getting a little thin. The analogy, I mean. Except you and me come from different worlds, and you’re not so great on showing emotion while I explode all over the place like an Italian piñata. You’re really smart and precise and I’m pushy and arrogant.”

_It’s okay, Ray. I understand that you are talking about us._

“And T’Pring was a nasty bitch and so was Victoria. Don’t get mad at me for saying that because it’s just plain truth. The thing is, we don’t have a McCoy to help us sort things out, so we’ll just have to do it ourselves. We just keep avoiding that and it’s time we stopped pussy-footing around and just face it.”

_I thought you were the one avoiding it. However, now that you bring it up, I’m experiencing a significant degree of anxiety._

“So I’ll be at your place at 9:00 tonight and we’re going to hash this out. _Capisce_?

_Oh, dear._

* * *

“That was a very entertaining program,” Fraser told Diefenbaker as he pulled the tape from the borrowed VCR (he had repaired it so, thankfully, it had sound now) and carefully put it back in its cover, fully rewound of course. “What did you think?”

Dief whined.

“So you preferred _Star Wars_? You always surprise me, Diefenbaker.” He sat down and looked at his watch. 8:43 p.m.

Dief rolled his eyes and grumbled.

“Oh, I see. Chewbacca. Well, good luck with that. I have my own problems.” Nervously, he stood again and began pacing the worn linoleum. He couldn’t imagine how this meeting would go, but the mayflies in his stomach presaged a monumental event.

At 8:57 there was a tap on the door.

Fraser looked at Dief and Dief looked back. “You might want to visit Lucy now. I’m not sure how this summit will proceed.”

Dief pointedly lay down, making it plain he intended to referee if necessary.

“Very well, but if you see something you can’t unsee, don’t blame me.”

He opened the door, and they stood there solemnly studying each other.

“Benny.”

“Ray.”

“Can I come in?”

“Yes, of course. Please do.”

Inside, they were still tongue-tied until Ray spotted the videotape’s cover. “Hey, you rented it! What did you think? Great huh?”

“Yes, indeed. I would like to watch more, in fact. Perhaps we can watch them together?” he suggested tentatively.

“Absolutely! The tribbles episode is the best.”

“What are tribbles?”

“They’re these little cute balls of purring fur— Never mind, you’ll see.”

The ice having been thoroughly broken, they both relaxed.

“Would you like some wine?” Fraser asked tentatively.

“You have wine?” Ray was startled. Tea, coffee, water—even beer—but wine was a distinctly amorous signal. Things were looking up. “Sure, I’d love some.”

Okay, so Benny offered it to him in a second-hand Flintstone water glass, but the gesture was still valid.

They sipped at the wine, sneaking glances at each other. Finally, Ray’s patience was finished. “We’ve got to talk about . . . stuff. Victoria. Me shooting you. All of it.”

Fraser’s head was bowed, but he looked up now. “It was actually not a very good analogy, Ray. T’Pring, as far as we know, was not a thief and a murderer, and Spock was not willing to let his best friend become bankrupt and be thrown in jail for a crime he did not commit.”

Ray stepped forward and said fervently, “But that’s where the pon farr comes in, Benny! Spock couldn’t control his actions. It was biology. You couldn’t help it either, Benny. And don’t tell me biology didn’t have you by the balls.”

Fraser opened his mouth to deny it, then shut up as he saw the stark truth of that. But he shook his head sadly. “Whatever you think of me, I am not an alien. And it is my responsibility to control my actions, whatever the impetus to do otherwise. I do sincerely thank you for trying to put my traitorous behavior in the best light possible.

“So you think I let you down by forgiving you?”

“Precisely. And by not telling me how angry you were. I should have been punished, not protected.”

“That’s nuts. Well, I’ll tell you one thing, Benton Fraser, I can’t promise that I’ll never shoot you again, but I will _always_ forgive you. You’ll just have to live with it. Because I love you and . . . uh . . . love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

“ _Love Story_ , Ali McGraw, 1970.” And with that calm declaration of facts, Fraser took Ray’s face in his hands and kissed him deeply.

After a very long, breathless session that cleared up any remaining questions with the best result either of them had dreamed of, Ray finally pulled back.

“I just have to know one thing, Benny. If you had to arrest me for a crime, would you let me go? It’s been eating at me. Would you?”

Fraser stared at him, astonished. “I would never, _never_ let you go, Ray. I respect you too much. I never respected Victoria, even from the first.”

“But your loved her?”

“Of course. But I _cherish_ you, Ray Vecchio. _Amore a prima vista_.”

Fraser kissed him again and there was _amore_ aplenty.


End file.
